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| Omg you all need to listen to Bebel Gilberto. I don't care. If you're stressed out, she is the perfect remedy. Especially if you like smooth bossa nova style music. I feel like I'm buzzed I'm so calm right now.
My life is hard but I'm dealing.
It's hard trying to find a balance between work, school/homework, practicing for lessons, friends. I feel like my school work has been rather low quality because I've been soooo busy. Also, Phi Mu Alpha has been party of my life lately.
Another thing on my mind is grad school. Where to try out, who to study with. I'm looking for a tenor with a big voice. Because I'm so in between, it sucks. A tenor who was a baritone in the beginning. They know exactly what's going on in my voice.
The Mahler is going well. But it's hard to keep a masky sound and still make the diction understandable. One thing at a time though. I need to pick out more rep.
I've been singing a lot of bossa/pop stuff lately and I forgot how that felt. It's WEIRD! omg. But it's funny to do it sometimes. | | |
| Ugh, week from hell. 5 exams!!!
But besides that, things are okay. I'm feeling pretty stable. But sometimes I still feel slightly outcast. I guess I'm too busy to really put deep thought into it. Not to mention, chick rock helps.
Seriously, what is it about Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, The Donnas, Shania Twain, and Taylor Swift that make me feel better about myself. I honestly have no idea, but I've been listening to all of these artists lately for SOME reason lol. I have a feeling it's just a reminder that there's all this good music on my playlist that lifts up the spirits.
I'm going to have to grow out my facial hair for the opera. Oh Don Quixote...I'm already done with you and you don't even know it yet.
Oh yeah, I got into next semesters opera which are "L'incoronazione de Poppea" by Montiverdi *more baroque* and "L'elisir D'amore" by Donizetti, which is BEL CANTO!!! however, I'm in the chorus in that one. I'm a bodyguard in the Montiverdi, with a few solo lines. Not bad.
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| I asked a guy out at work. We went out and it was great, he's just not looking for anything right now. Which sucks.
I have the balls, they're just not being pleased I guess.
Now now, I'm not trying to get laid. But I'd like to at least have someone to hang out/go out with and have fun, maybe snuggle with. But honestly, I really can't see it happening anymore. I keep trying and I've even lost weight, built up my confidence level and met some great guys and I get nothing. Why do I keep trying? Damn this world. I must be in what they call hell.
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| My friend is attracted to a girl and is pursuing it. But he's always been gay...
First of all, I would like to point out that I've been attracte to him since we met and I've kissed him, however he was dating someone at the time, to which I apologized. I also hate everything he does and the way he acts. Sounds about familiar...
When he told me that today, my immediate reaction was to punch him in the dick hole, which I probably should've. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it in theory, however I have a personal reaction to it.
I honestly think he's looking for an easy way out. He's trying to see if he can really like this girl so I can not be gay anymore. Now, I know this is not true, *at least not right now, it's could be true for him subconciously* however I really am a little pissed that he would jump at the chance to explore an attraction to a girl. You're GAY!
I'm also partially jealous, that he can find women that he's attracted to. I've never been attracted to women and I hate it because I feel like I have to other option than to DEAL with my lifestyle, which is very difficult and emotionally taxing. The possibilities of me finding a lasting love are extremely slim and I have little options while he has so many. I told him he was greedy, and now he wants to talk about it. I'm not going to tell him that I'm still attracted to him, even though he's not attracted to me at all. Honestly, I really dislike him as a person. He can be very shady. But for some reason, it's still there. Maybe I just need to punch him in the dick and cut him off from my life...
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| First week and it's been mostly bad.
My class load is insane. I still feel very much alone, even though I'm around more people, but I think I need it.
I'm thinking about going back to counseling, since I'm already stressed out. Although, I must say, I'm very well prepared for my juries already lol, which aren't until dicembre.
I must say that I'm fairly thinner, and enjoying my current weight. It's where I'm comfortable.
Job is going well. Got a little sketchy when I had to call off because I was too drunk to work, but the boss looked passed it this once. He knew I was drunk because one of the other deli girls threw a party the night before and I was irresponsible. He thinks it's funny now. I suppose he's been there before.
Health-wise, I'm okay. I could be better, but I'm still alive.
I'm extremely lonely and I'm trying to not let it show and stay positive. But I feel like everyone in the world has some type of companion, whether it's a good friend or a significant other and I'm the outcast.
PS - I'm in Italian and I can't stop using Italian words.
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